Post by Kalina Beauvais on Jul 25, 2006 21:45:55 GMT -5
For the record, this isn't a fan fiction. It's just an original story about an un-named girl. On that note, please post in my deviantart account here. Please enjoy the short story and comments are quite encouraged, sort of begged for, and I'll hug you!
Note: I may add some more later, so stay tuned! Not to mention, the font has been changed in these entries for Health, so that she can read with her old lady eyes.
Note: I may add some more later, so stay tuned! Not to mention, the font has been changed in these entries for Health, so that she can read with her old lady eyes.
My very first memory didn't exist. I know it didn't exist because my life is too screwed over to ever have such a happy, blissful memory. People tell me I'm crazy to believe it could be comferting, but I don't really mind, because anytime I'm scared or have a random outbreak, I just remember that crazy-impossible memory, and I'm alright. My ama and I are sitting out in the park, me all chubby and her way too skinny to be true, but I'm on the swings none the less and she's pushin' me like a little baby, while Daddy was just standing near us smiling like he didn't want nothing more. I'm real young, too, like two years old at most. That's probably why it could never be true, because my Mama was in Rehab when I was two. My Daddy was the only one to take care of me then, and there was no hope after that.
There's something you've gotta understand about me. That's my life has never been peaches and cream, like my Mama wanted it to be. Naw, she handed me over to Daddy once she started doing that heroin again. She promised to be off it after I got born, by two years seemed to be too long for her, and she got shocked good after that. Then some Springdales place come looking for her and saying that I aughta stay with my Daddy, 'till this be over, and she kept screaming like there was no tomorrow. I swear she was high, 'cause that's my second memory.
It was after dinner, when Mama was out and Daddy was cooking me some yucky mush stuff that tasted like refried grass. I swear, that kids food was disgusting. He was just setting down the plate when Mama come screaming into the house, crying like a banshee with a dead boy. She locked herself in her room, and Daddy gave me one of his looks. Everytime Mama was high, he'd give me that sorry look, like he feel sorry for me. I didn't care back then, didn't much understand it 'till now when things make sense. So Daddy gives me one of his looks and then tells me to wait there, and heads up to their room, probably to quiet her down before the neighbours here and call the police again. That had happened before, I was told a long time ago, I was too young to remember that.
About fifteen minutes passed of her screaming and me staring at that disgusting mush in front of me, 'till she finally stopped and Daddy quietly got out of the room, seemed to be carrying her down the stairs. It was weird, 'cause a minute ago she was hollaring and now she's all giddy. Her highs were weird like that. He lay her on the couch, where she's staring at the ceiling and mumbling, pointing at bits on the walls and pointing them out to him. By the way, he had dinner in our living room all the time, 'cause our house were too small to have a living room and dining room seperate, so we just had a big table in the middle to make it look nice. I always thought it looked stupid.
Some five minutes went by and she was still giddy, when something made a banging sound. It couldn'tve been Mama 'cause she was on the couch, and Daddy was right there, waiting for her to finish and me to eat this junk. Then I realized it was at the door, and Daddy goes over and sees some people in nice suits there. I remember them being real ugly, a lady with a hooked nose and weird eyebrows and a guy with really big, swollen-looking lips, but he be white so it looked even worse. They come in and ask for Mama, while my Daddy is telling them she'll get better. He whines and cries, and I'm still sitting there waiting for somebody to take away this garbage food in front of me. Then they take Mama and carry her outside, while she's laughing at something that must've been hilarious, but I didn't get the joke. Maybe I was too young to understand it, but she be hollaring. Maybe my Daddy got it, though, 'cause he was so laughy he be crying, not so much laughing and just crying. He ran up to their room and slammed the door, while I just sort of sat there still. Still don't know why nobody took away that junk food 'till a lot later, when I fell asleep in my plate.
Daddy washed me and put me to bed, then locked himself in his room again, and I could hear his wailing. Kept me up for most of the night, too, and kinda wished he would stop so I could get some sleep. Tired as hell after Mama yelling like that, made me all weird feeling. I'm suprised I didn't even cry, too, 'cause I was a big crier when I was younger. Then again, maybe I was just too tired to cry. Lots of times after that, Daddy would cry at night, wailing and sobbing all loud-like. Never let people see how I cried, even when I be older and grown, shows them that they got the best. Can't let that happen.
Written by Natalia K. Chaykowski